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Ovaries Should Just Do What They Are Supposed To.......Just Saying

Judging by my title, I am sure you can tell the 21 day blood test proved to be less than ideal.  In my eternal optimistic mind, the test would have shown I ovulated.  I wasn't even being that demanding and asking for a baby, just to know that I am ovulating which would help reassure me this whole process will get better.  Instead my progesterone levels were a .5 which indicates I did not ovulate.  You see, after you ovulate your progesterone raises quite a bit and well....... a .5 just doesn't cut it.  My doctor was better at presenting this information during his phone call.  He was also pleased to hear I had menstruated on my own last month.  He indicated the next step was to increase my Chlomid yet again by 50 mg.  I began with 50, went to 100, and will now be taking 150.  Who knows, maybe we'll get 6 little bundles of cuteness out of this......a girl can dream.  He then indicated if this did not work, he would send me to a specialist.  My problem with that is the fact that specialists are expensive and our health insurance does not cover fertility, like at all.  So my 30 dollar Chlomid will not compare to thousands of dollars at the specialists.  A colleague informed me of her doctor who has actually gone through this.  Her doctor gave her a different prescription which proved to be successful.  She is pregnant with a beautiful baby girl after trying for years.  She also said the medication can be "hidden" so to speak with insurance as it is used for other medical reasons.

I have to be honest.  Before I was disappointed for a day and then bounced back.  This last time got me down until yesterday.  I am a planner and have my head set on babies.  I worry about what I can't control and I have this fear that this will never work.  I know it's dramatic as it has only been three months since we married, but it is what it is.  I am so blessed for the prayers and positive reminders.  My much more grounded best friends and husband have reminded me that I was so thin for so long and only just recently had a period.  These things take time and it will take my body time to get my hormone levels back to normal after being so out of whack for years.  So I am going to remain positive and see how this next month goes.  If I haven't ovulated by January, then I will try the doctor my friend recommended.  Thank you for the prayers, support, and positivity. It's time to relax and enjoy the present.  

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