Our Fertility Journey: Forever in My Heart-Waiting for the Day I Can Hold You in My Arms

I have such mixed emotions about October this year. It’s usually one of my favorite months with the colors of the leaves, the clear blue skies with crisp temps that force you to wear a light jacket, and the sense of calm it brings.  This month has a lot of fun plans too with weddings, a weekend getaway, and lots of fun with friends and family planned.  With that said, I still can’t get a certain date out of my mind. October 14th was our due date. The fact that we even had a due date made it seem that much more real. I remember receiving the paperwork for what not to eat and then my doctor told us we were due October 14th.  I have done well at keeping this off my mind, but now that it’s October, I can’t stop thinking about it.  So full disclosure, October you suck and I wish you’d hurry up and get over with.  None of what I just said sounds like me, but I’ve learned from this that going through miscarriages changes you. Yes, I’m still positive and have faith we...

I'm feeling reflective today.  In less than one month, my husband and I will be married for two years, which means two years of trying, begging, praying, and pleading to have a baby. Thank goodness I married my soulmate because there is nobody else better to go through this than him.  He has been my constant rock and made me laugh when I wanted to ball, cried with me when life was heartbreaking, said prayers with me before every pregnancy test, and been positive when I did't have the energy.  He deserves the world and I just can't wait for him to be a dad because he will be the absolute BEST. Even though it has been two years, there have been many gaps in the timeline which is reassuring and frustrating all in one. August 2015- The baby making party begins. December 2015- Miscarry after getting pregnant on our second try. March 2016- Miscarriage finally subsided and I had my first appointment with my OBGYN after moving, in which we get tested and she says she is r...