Our Sweet Josephine

I must preface this by stating I am not claiming to be psychic. I did, however, have a vision or picture if you will of our little girl. No, I am not pregnant that I know of, but I could see her. She had dark brown hair with big brown eyes. The way her eyes and mouth looked when she smiled was this incredible combination of Tim and I. Who knows. Maybe we will have a boy, maybe a girl, maybe both, maybe niether, but I had to document my vision and this little angel that gave me this undeniable yearning to hold her with my unyielding, unconditonal love. So to our sweet Josephine, if we ever have the blessed opportunity to meet, I promise to love you and take care of you for always.

Comments

We are Fighters

I didn't expect to have an update this soon, but what I need to realize is I need to stop having any expectations. I have no clue which obstacles will continue, how high or low the hills will be, and there is not a single thing I can do about it. The reason I say this is because I didn't think my appointment on Monday to have the ultrasound would be a big deal. My husband, Tim, insisted my mom come with me since he had to work and I asked her even though I saw no point. This wasn't supposed to be a big appointment and I already knew what the situation was. I knew I had a heart-shaped uterus so what else was there to worry about? Wrong again. As I'm sitting on the table with the nurse examining my lady business, I asked her what she saw. Of course she played it safe and told me my doctor would go over everything with me. She was nice about it, but it still annoyed me. Just tell me already, no your not a doctor but you also know what you are looking at. Luck

New Beginnings

I’ve been drafting this in my head for days. It has been 5 days since our second child was born and even typing the word “second” feels surreal and still selfish. The selfishness comes from when I was yearning for just one. Looking back at my first post, I need to tell that girl that her journey would be long and there would be times she would feel hopeless, lost, and alone. I would also tell her she needs to be strong because each bump on this treacherous road would lead her to exactly where she was meant to be. I am not going to lie and say I was ever truly confident during this pregnancy. I was terrified all the time. It was a version of PTSD where I kept waiting for the loss to happen. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy and soak in carrying our second little one. I soaked in every minute, but I just made sure to leave enough of a guard up, just in case. What I couldn’t have predicted was how successful this pregnancy would be. Every time I was met with a scare, this little one s

A Competent Cervix Success Story After a LEEP and IVF

We all know Dr. Google can be pretty negative when all we really want is to find some reassuring news. This was all I wanted when I found out that the combination of my LEEP procedure (scraping early Cancer off my cervix) and IVF can lead to an incompetent cervix. An incompetent cervix is when your cervix basically can’t handle pregnancy and you deliver early without typical contractions. My OB informed me they would be monitoring every two weeks from weeks 16 - 24 to measure and make sure no folding occurs. What did I do the minute I got in the car? I searched for any success stories, which ended up being hard to come by. My hope is that my success story will reassure others. Biweekly Monitoring If you find yourself in this situation, you’ll get to see your little every two weeks with cute ultrasound pics included. It was really nice getting extra face time with our growing peanut. We also got to see his heartbeat and, after three losses, this was really reassuring. These ultraso

Our Fertility Journey: Forever in My Heart-Waiting for the Day I Can Hold You in My Arms

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