I'm feeling reflective today. In less than one month, my husband and I will be married for two years, which means two years of trying, begging, praying, and pleading to have a baby. Thank goodness I married my soulmate because there is nobody else better to go through this than him. He has been my constant rock and made me laugh when I wanted to ball, cried with me when life was heartbreaking, said prayers with me before every pregnancy test, and been positive when I did't have the energy. He deserves the world and I just can't wait for him to be a dad because he will be the absolute BEST.
Even though it has been two years, there have been many gaps in the timeline which is reassuring and frustrating all in one.
August 2015- The baby making party begins.
December 2015- Miscarry after getting pregnant on our second try.
March 2016- Miscarriage finally subsided and I had my first appointment with my OBGYN after moving, in which we get tested and she says she is referring us to a fertility specialist.
July 2016- After not so patiently waiting what seemed like forever, we finally had our first appointment only to learn that I needed more tests.
August 2016- I find out I need corrective surgery.
September 2016- Surgery month. Fun times.
November 2016- First round of fertility meds begins.
December 2016- Up my dose of fertility meds.
February 2017- The increased dose worked and we got pregnant the end of January for the 2nd time. We then miscarried after being 5.5 weeks pregnant. This one ripped us into shreds. I had the surgery prior which made me think this one was going to stay with us. The hubs even got really attached so it took a while to recoup.
March 2017- I needed time to let my body heal so took this time to meet with the specialist. We developed a plan and believe I need progesterone to help prevent miscarriages.
June 2017- This was our first month following the miscarriage that we were back to a normal fertility med routine and were able to start trying again. It felt so great to have new hope.
July 2017- Got the first negative pregnancy test and I just balled. We did everything right and I just really thought this one would work.
So here we are, it is still July, and we have two littles in Heaven and are still praying for our future little who sticks around. I still know it will work out though. Yes, it has been two years, but looking back at that timeline, it wasn't 24 solid months as we definitely had some in between hurtles. I know we will be parents, How and when are not on my control, but I also know we will do anything we can to make this happen.
The current plan is to stick with taking Femara with Metformin, plus Progesterone to prevent miscarriages. If we are not pregnant by January. We are going to begin meeting for IVF which would be the end of next summer if we haven't gotten pregnant yet. Prior to going in for IVF, I do want us both tested for Chromosome Deficiencies which can cause continual miscarriages. If we do have that, then to me, IVF is pointless and I want to explore Embryo Adoption. Some are uneasy about this but to me, its adoption but still gets to grow inside me and give me the feelings of pregnancy which I'd like to experience. If IVF or Embryo Adoption do not work in 2018, then 2019 we begin the adoption process. So as you see, I am definitely planning way ahead, but for me, this is a road that leads to an outcome I've been praying for my whole life- to be a mother. I know God has a plan and as my husband and I approach our 2nd year wedding anniversary, I thank God for giving me him to experience all of this with. He knew what he was doing when he brought us together. <3
As I approach a new month, it gives me new hope for a miracle. This is what I need to remember, after each cycle is a new chance for a new life.
Until next time my friends, fertility sisters, and supporters......
Even though it has been two years, there have been many gaps in the timeline which is reassuring and frustrating all in one.
August 2015- The baby making party begins.
December 2015- Miscarry after getting pregnant on our second try.
March 2016- Miscarriage finally subsided and I had my first appointment with my OBGYN after moving, in which we get tested and she says she is referring us to a fertility specialist.
July 2016- After not so patiently waiting what seemed like forever, we finally had our first appointment only to learn that I needed more tests.
August 2016- I find out I need corrective surgery.
September 2016- Surgery month. Fun times.
November 2016- First round of fertility meds begins.
December 2016- Up my dose of fertility meds.
February 2017- The increased dose worked and we got pregnant the end of January for the 2nd time. We then miscarried after being 5.5 weeks pregnant. This one ripped us into shreds. I had the surgery prior which made me think this one was going to stay with us. The hubs even got really attached so it took a while to recoup.
March 2017- I needed time to let my body heal so took this time to meet with the specialist. We developed a plan and believe I need progesterone to help prevent miscarriages.
June 2017- This was our first month following the miscarriage that we were back to a normal fertility med routine and were able to start trying again. It felt so great to have new hope.
July 2017- Got the first negative pregnancy test and I just balled. We did everything right and I just really thought this one would work.
So here we are, it is still July, and we have two littles in Heaven and are still praying for our future little who sticks around. I still know it will work out though. Yes, it has been two years, but looking back at that timeline, it wasn't 24 solid months as we definitely had some in between hurtles. I know we will be parents, How and when are not on my control, but I also know we will do anything we can to make this happen.
The current plan is to stick with taking Femara with Metformin, plus Progesterone to prevent miscarriages. If we are not pregnant by January. We are going to begin meeting for IVF which would be the end of next summer if we haven't gotten pregnant yet. Prior to going in for IVF, I do want us both tested for Chromosome Deficiencies which can cause continual miscarriages. If we do have that, then to me, IVF is pointless and I want to explore Embryo Adoption. Some are uneasy about this but to me, its adoption but still gets to grow inside me and give me the feelings of pregnancy which I'd like to experience. If IVF or Embryo Adoption do not work in 2018, then 2019 we begin the adoption process. So as you see, I am definitely planning way ahead, but for me, this is a road that leads to an outcome I've been praying for my whole life- to be a mother. I know God has a plan and as my husband and I approach our 2nd year wedding anniversary, I thank God for giving me him to experience all of this with. He knew what he was doing when he brought us together. <3
As I approach a new month, it gives me new hope for a miracle. This is what I need to remember, after each cycle is a new chance for a new life.
Until next time my friends, fertility sisters, and supporters......
I pray that You& Tim get pregnant by January so you won't have to go down a different avenue. Lord knows YOU BOTH DESERVE TO GET PREGNANT. Love you both! Prayers.....Dad
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