Sharing our journey of infertility to break the silence in hopes of helping others know they aren't alone.
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An Open Letter to Our Miracle, Our Son
I can't believe this is my last post. I can still remember being a more innocent version of myself, newly married beginning our fertility journey. I had no idea the obstacles yet to overcome nor the precious ending. Yesterday was our final adoption hearing. It was surreal because we were already a family and he was already our son, but this was the final step in a 3 year journey to have our little one at last. I've said it a million times, and I will continue to say it- he was always meant be ours, we just had to find one another. There is nothing more we will ever need and the rest of our lives has officially begun.....
Adoption Day
10/8/18
Our Beautiful Boy,
There are no words to describe how much you mean to us, but we will do our best. There is a story that we read together a lot and there is this part where it says:
Waiting for the day our paths would cross And you and I turned into we Oh, I've loved you since forever And forever's how long you'll be loved by me
This is us, my love. Mama remembers having vivid dreams of a perfect little boy with brown hair that would be her son even before she was married. Then in the 3 years we tried and tried for you, we just knew that you would find us. You did find us, little one, and not a day will ever pass that we are not the luckiest parents in the world because YOU are our son. We loved you before we knew you were here, we loved you when we first found out you were growing, and we loved you in that instant you came into the world and our eyes locked. Each and every day since then, we have been so blessed to see this sweet soul you have. We already know you are kind, silly, smart, good, and beautiful in every way. You deserve the best things this world has to offer, and we promise to do everything we can to make that so:
We promise to embrace who YOU are.
We promise to cherish everything that makes you YOU.
We promise to give you all the cuddles you need, even when you think you are too old for them.
We promise to cheer you on in every passion you pursue.
We promise to guide you when you need it but also give you the independence you desire.
We promise to do everything in our power to never let anyone hurt you, and also be your comfort when it happens anyway.
We promise to always aspire to give you our best in every aspect.
Most importantly, we promise to love you, unconditionally, forever.
You are our son and because of that there is nothing more in life we will ever need.
Mama and Daddy love you so much, and we are so blessed for this beautiful life with you.
Truly Yours Forever,
Love,
Mama and Daddy
The journey may have been long and at times hopeless, but it was all worth it because it lead us to our perfect boy. I would do it all over again because it lead us to you.
Thank you to all who have read this. Your messages, prayers, and support have given me courage. I’m just so glad I shared our story. If I never documented and shared our experience, we wouldn’t have found out about our son. A voice told me to share our story. It was honestly for selfish reasons because infertility can feel lonely, but then turned into something I wanted to do to help others. Little did I know, God had other plans as well.
My only advise to anyone going through this is to give it all to God and know it WILL work out. You’ve got this. ♥️
I didn't expect to have an update this soon, but what I need to realize is I need to stop having any expectations. I have no clue which obstacles will continue, how high or low the hills will be, and there is not a single thing I can do about it. The reason I say this is because I didn't think my appointment on Monday to have the ultrasound would be a big deal. My husband, Tim, insisted my mom come with me since he had to work and I asked her even though I saw no point. This wasn't supposed to be a big appointment and I already knew what the situation was. I knew I had a heart-shaped uterus so what else was there to worry about? Wrong again. As I'm sitting on the table with the nurse examining my lady business, I asked her what she saw. Of course she played it safe and told me my doctor would go over everything with me. She was nice about it, but it still annoyed me. Just tell me already, no your not a doctor but you also know what you are looking at. Luck
I’ve been drafting this in my head for days. It has been 5 days since our second child was born and even typing the word “second” feels surreal and still selfish. The selfishness comes from when I was yearning for just one. Looking back at my first post, I need to tell that girl that her journey would be long and there would be times she would feel hopeless, lost, and alone. I would also tell her she needs to be strong because each bump on this treacherous road would lead her to exactly where she was meant to be. I am not going to lie and say I was ever truly confident during this pregnancy. I was terrified all the time. It was a version of PTSD where I kept waiting for the loss to happen. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy and soak in carrying our second little one. I soaked in every minute, but I just made sure to leave enough of a guard up, just in case. What I couldn’t have predicted was how successful this pregnancy would be. Every time I was met with a scare, this little one s
We all know Dr. Google can be pretty negative when all we really want is to find some reassuring news. This was all I wanted when I found out that the combination of my LEEP procedure (scraping early Cancer off my cervix) and IVF can lead to an incompetent cervix. An incompetent cervix is when your cervix basically can’t handle pregnancy and you deliver early without typical contractions. My OB informed me they would be monitoring every two weeks from weeks 16 - 24 to measure and make sure no folding occurs. What did I do the minute I got in the car? I searched for any success stories, which ended up being hard to come by. My hope is that my success story will reassure others. Biweekly Monitoring If you find yourself in this situation, you’ll get to see your little every two weeks with cute ultrasound pics included. It was really nice getting extra face time with our growing peanut. We also got to see his heartbeat and, after three losses, this was really reassuring. These ultraso
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